I know! I haven't been writing much introspective, witty repartee here this past month or so. Truth be told I am still recovering from whatever kind of cold this is. Daily, I now have heartburn and a massive headache. Brian is suffering through the same and enjoys living in his pajamas for days on end.
I manage some work and at least a shower, but I must admit I love hanging out in my home with Brian. It is my favorite thing. I know these are the last few years before he is off to be with friends, doing his own thing. I will miss him terribly.
For now, we get to compare hand sizes, worst spider stories and favorite comedic lines. He is into farting and thinking it is funny. I am into chasing him around with Fabreeze (because he is getting that "boy" smell) and I think it is funny. He points out when I have lipstick on my teeth and tells me he likes me better without makeup. I point out to put on shoes and I like him better when he cleans his room...
I am lucky KB and Elisabet have young children too, because they understand my desire to hang with Brian. They are like me - older women with young children. We had large lives before we had our children. I have girlfriends who married just out of high school and had children before they were 20. Now they love their new freedom and embrace corporate America with a vengeance, where we think "yawn". I didn't get married until I was 30, so I traveled. went to school and did the corporate rat race long before Brian. None of it compares to being the mother of Brian.
I don't have a burning desire to spend time away from Brian. It was hard enough to travel for work while he was young. I used to justify it in my head by telling myself it was time he would be spending with his dad anyways. But now that I don't have to travel, I want him all the time and hate sharing. Yes, yes he does need to be around his dad. I have girlfriends whose kids are grown who get irritated with me when I take Brian back before his time with his dad is done. They say I am letting my ex "off the hook" when I allow him to change Brian's time with him. Really, I don't care, as Brian is welcome home anytime (day or night). I will forever be pleased to see him.
No other man, girls night, dance class or event could equal time hanging out with my son. I am smart enough to realize time is a precious gift that changes in a second. Before I know it Brian will be driving, then off to college, maybe traveling the world and then married and starting a family of his own. I will then become the welcome guest in his life from time to time. The time we have right now is "our time." It will never repeat.
However, I would like to get over whatever bug this is ...
Basketball season returns in full swing Thursday night and we begin the whirlwind that is the final months of Brian's grade school life. Never to be repeated in this lifetime...
Until next time-
C
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