Ok...so I know I need to finish that hilarious Chicago story...but wanted to update ya that Mr Big says I very much need to do this wireless thing. Now I am bugging them to death...lol.
All while cleaning house in my life and setting things up for where I want to go next. I am setting up a "Make Our Dreams Come True" group of 6 women. It is Danielle, Michele, Elisabet, KB, Denise and myself. I am going to sit down with 5 women once a month and in a year make all of our dreams come true and then write a book about the experience.
As I turn 45, I am ready to change my life into the life I am suppose to be living. I hope you will all come back to read about it as is happens.
Hugs,
C
Ok...so I called and sent an email to Scott the President of Vista because I now know more about wireless than I do about my son's video game preferences. I am being very pushy about this which is a real first for me job wise. Usually employers come hunt me down. And as we all know...I never chase men. So here I am chasing one for a job...oi.
Kinda fun tho.
So I promised more KB and Cath road trip stories and am thinking about the Chicago trip where she got rear ended in my rental car. The guy who hit her, pushed her accrss this huge intersection. Once he came up to the car to see if she was alright, he left his name and information and the left her there and drove away. She called my cell.
I was in the branch training when she called me. I walked down to the intersection and the local police officer was already there. I really liked him...much different than California cops. First, he was very concerned for KB. Then, he was extremely pissed off that this guy left KB, a woman from out of town in a rental car on the side of the road to fend for herself.
The funny part was...this cop knew who the guy was. I love small midwest towns and this was Libertyville. Better yet, this cop knew the guys phone number and calls him from his cell. He begins chewing the guy a new one and tells him he had better come down to the station in an hour for a "little chat". Otherwise he was coming to find him at his hangout and arrest him.
With that he followed us to the rental drop off where we were given a new car. He wished us well and advised KB to go to the hospital. I drove her to the local emergency room. They were very kind and treated us like guests in their home. KB got some pretty killer pain pills and we went back to the hotel to make her rest.
The next day I told her to just stay in bed and I went into the branch office to train without her. She was stiff and sore and her back was bothering her. At the end of the day I returned to the hotel and KB was hungry and anxious to get out of the hotel room.
Northwest of Libertyville is this massive killer outlet mall - the biggest I have ever seen. I suggested we go there, where there is also a restaurant known as The Elephant Bar. And, away we went. After a couple of great margaritas and lettuce wraps we are off to find the Nordstrom's outlet in this mall the size of a small town. I think they should give shoppers golf carts to drive around in...
As we are walking to Nordstroms we pass a shoe store that has a two for one sale every thing half off sign in the window. I love shoes. So in we go. I liked just about every pair. The sales girl informs us that for every 4 pairs - we get one free....oh hell we are combining this order now! I got a hot pink pair of slip on dress shoes, a leather pair of black boots, a cool wooden and brown leather sandal; a black pair of pumps, a red pair of dress sandals, slip on suede Nikes, black dressy sandals with a bow and a pair of running shoes. KB filled in the rest so that we had a total of 16 pairs. SO get this...every other shoe is free cause of the two for one and half off that one pair and 4 extra pairs free. So essentually we bought four pair of shoes. The grand total was eighty something dollars and we spit that bill. I think I had an orgasm right there.
Now...16 pair of shoe boxes had to go, and the sales person put the shoes in these big bags. Out the door we go - straight to the luggage outlet where KB bought a rolling suitcase for our shoes. While piling the shoes into the rolling bag in the middle of the mall, KB notes to one pair of mine, "Wow...these look like they might hurt...they are pretty...just don't wear them all day your first time" and in the bag they go.
Fast forward to the next day. We train all day and drive into downtown Chicago to stay the night and take in the House of Blues.
Until next post-
C
http://www.aweekinthelifeofaredhead.com
Joseph Campbell wrote:
"The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek."
So....I stopped by my old tech school today and Anne, the director filled my arms with books and information, so here I am this late afternoon fielding mortgage calls and learning that...
Vista operates on a wireless platform based on radio waves. Yes, the stuff cell phones and radios use...but better. We all remember high school science (Ok, well I do) where we learned that radio waves are created when electrons move in a wire, and when it moves it creates an electromagnetic field around the wire which then in turn sends out a wave when the field changes. By starting and stopping electron movement we create field changes, thus creating a radio wave which moves through space at the speed of light.
Modulating the radio wave, by changing the frequency (you KNOW - the times per second it takes the wave to get from one peak to the next) determines the measuremnt. Like FM for FM radio which stands for Frequency Modulation, AM for Amplitude Modulation...have I lost ya yet?
There are different types of technology developed for wireless in this capacity. There is the Institute Of Electrical and Electronics Engineers, which develops the standards for computers. The wireless standard allows data transfer at a higher rate. The modulation method used for one router is Differential Binary Phase Shift Keying, Differential Quadrature Phase Shift Keying and Complementary Code Keying depending on the speed needed. These methods alter the wave to send data.
Clear as mud?
So look at me...I am geek speakin again and loving it. I contacted my "Mr Big"and asked his advise. I am sure it will make fora commical and wise retort. I will write more in a bit.
C
PS. Maybe my imaginary lover could finish this since I am tired and want my bed...I am fried from reading so much tech info.
I am now home and was going to update this until I dropped my wireless keyboard upside down on the floor and it signed me off and put my computer in suspend mode. I've lost my Visa (at least I have my keys)and ma exhausted from getting up at 5:30 and loving my day.
I promise I will write more later...right now I want jammies and my soft pillows...
C
PS. My imaginary lover has the bed ready and is in it...naked.
Am at Char's place for girl's night - saving this link to my journal on her machine. Her new baeu hooked her up with some serious technology...like the web cam and wireless. Pretty sexy...
BTW...Bless you and thank you for today Eric...and Mike...
C
PS. My imaginary lover comes with great electronic equipment.
Ok...I get it. After having lunch with Mike and Jason from Vista about selling wireless networks to companies (wineries are their bigest clients); hearing about the technologies and sitting with these two adorable tech guys (who also bought me lunch) I wanted back in the tech world in the worst way. And I was having a blast talking with them!
I forgot what excitement feels like. I haven't felt it in years, like a part of my personality lay dorment on the dark side of the sun. It feels like sunrise. I called KB first thing and she exclaimed, "Oh my god - you are back - it's you! I forgot this side of you" I think we both wanted to cry.
I have to get back to my regular clients - of course it's a crazy busy day...I will write more later.
C
PS. My imaginary lover would get this...and be thrilled for me...
Here I go into the first week of the rest of my life...
I went out with a friend on Saturday night and we ended up at Rita's. Though this name may conjure up thoughts of a fine girlfriend's home in some man's head - it is not - it's a club. Not just any club mind you.. a Kereoke club. Quite popular too. What is it with me that Karioke seems to suddenly coming up in my life?
KB...is this my sign?
Inside this lively, fun place I run into a sales manager for a large mortgage company I once was hired for a temporary project. They rescued me when I needed to find work in town to gain full custody of Brian. Me and my big mouth tell this sales manager I am shopping to make a move and she grins and exclaims that she is looking to hire and increase her loan officer sales force....
oi...where is that duct tape I used to carry around in my purse...?...
Her agents do average salaries between 100k and 250k a year, so I would be foolish not to chat with her. I would be back on the inside though - stuck at a desk 8 hours a day - on the phone the entire time. Sigh.
However, there is a great bunch of people and some very old mortgage friends of mine...including a man I once dated. We are still friends so all is ok. He happens to be one of the ones that doesn't think I am a pain in the ass and actually finds me to be a most lovely girl....lol. even to this day! I know - quite shocking!
And YES I know - I want out of mortgage banking....but I still must consider all my options. Even Ebet wants to partner us up in the Sacramento area and have an all "beautiful" female loan office next to a country club near her. She'd like me to do the marketing, and run the office. It would mean some tricky options with Brian...but a hell of a way to start moving me out of this damn town.
And there's Dale, now mortified that I am not happy where I am (prolly grinning inside that I ever left his employ tho). He is still doing the mortgage thing, but broadening his horizons into other areas of real estate construction. He's starting two other businesses and one where he'd like me to sell this type of framing to contractors.
I'll let that one sink in...f r a m i n g
Now THATS funny - but he is convinced I'd be great at it. He doesn't drink or do drugs so he swears he is thinking clearly. He is on a misssion to make me very rich and set Brian up for college. He still wants me as a business partner, He is another great man - father of 6 - married almost 20 years. I do land some pretty great bosses from time to time...
My dad worked in the trades, and my brother (yes I do have one) even with his degrees works in the trades. As well as Uncles and cousins. So one might say I am very comfortable talking to these type men...but framing?? I can hear my girlfriends laughing...
Hey...heck of a way to always be around men though...
So here I go into a week that could change the course of my life forever...don't you just love those kinds of weeks? I just wish I could fall asleep...
C
PS. My imaginary lover lives in the country where I can go to rest my weary body and soul and enjoy the peace and quiet - away from the fast paced life of balancing single parenting and work. Have a tremendous week.
"It is much easier to become a father than to be one. "
~Kent Nerburn
To all the Fathers: Happy Father's Day!
C
PS. My imaginary lover is a great dad.
Like Eric didn't already learn not to stand so close to a redhead...am laughing and laughing that he put himself into this one...
Just Click on:
http://rosburgs.smugmug.com/gallery/578318/5/24206883
I think his expression says< "Trust me, she may look great, but she's a redhead and most likely a pain in the ass..."...
C
PS. Happy Father's Day Eric. You are a blessed soul friend, a good husband, a wonderful dad, a strong loving brother, a kind son and an amazing example of a fine man. Thank you for everything.
Tonight I had the pleasure of watching Finding Neverland with my son Brian. We both love the story of Peter Pan. It was one of my favorite books when I was young. Also... all my friends know I just love Johnny Depp. I could watch Chocolat a thousand times...oh wait...I have.
This movie about how James Mathew Barrie penned Peter Pan is interesting and lovely to watch as a mother of a boy. Although not completely true to life, as the real life play debued in 1904 and their dad died in 1907 and Sylvia, the mother died in 1910. Both died of cancer I believe. Still, the movie was enjoyable to watch as my son Brian challenged me to a game of chess on the coffee table.
Brian is at that age where boys are lost between boyhood and becomming a man. I can feel the beating clock of father time whenever he plops down on my lap to look at something I am reading. He is almost as big as me, and in the not to distant future he won't be doing that anymore. My baby will be completely gone.
C
PS. My imaginary lover enjoys laying on the couch watching all types of movies...and I appreciate the boy in him.
I have a lunch invite from two senior people at this wireless company - Vista - filled with people I once worked with in my technical life. I pray that what they may want me for pays well and I can turn my back on mortgage banking for good this time. Keep me in your prayers...the lunch is next Wednesday at 12:30. Whew hew. (dancin around my living room)
Oh God - I have 4 days to brush up on emerging wireless infrastructures...but just typing these words is turning me on...
C
PS. The President of this company is over 40, 6'7, handsome, adorable and kind - just like my imaginary lover...
Someone asked me why I suddenly felt the need to journal and I think the article at this site explains it best:
So this just about answers it...
C
PS. My imaginary lover comes from this creative part of my life...
For those of my reading friends not in the know...
Saint Jude is the Catholic patron Saint of those in need....some say of lost causes...
Traditionally one prays to Saint Jude nine times each day, for nine days. The nine days represents the nine days the Apostles prayed between the Ascension of Jesus, and Pentecost, when they experienced the presence of the Holy Spirit.
Then one should post the outcome of answered prayer for all to see.
Is that enough of Catholic lesson number one?...
C
PS. My imaginary lover - oh wait if I post it here St Jude might bring him to my front door and my place is a mess!
My x boss Eric instant messaged me today. We were the best of friends for so many years. Now he works and lives an hour away. I hardly see him. We share many a hilarious Catherine - Eric stories, so much so, my friends still ask me to repeat those at parties. I suppose at some point I will have to write them down here too. He wants me to go back to my technical career. He knows that all things technical and teaching people about it, writing and my son are my loves. He gave me a job lead today and I feel like posting a shrine to St. Jude (Catholic mystical stuff) to pray it comes to pass.
Me: Then, where is Mike at?
eric: at vista - give him a call.
eric: brb... oh wait - back
Me: k
Me: Boy - you step out for long periods of time...lol
eric: going to a meeting and then lunch (er Bike ride)
eric: http://rosburgs.smugmug.com
eric: have I shared this website with you?
Me: no and you never go to mine - Mike says Hi - on phone with him
eric: I have been to yours!
eric: yo donnman
Me: are you selling something?
eric: nope - just a photo gallery
Me: I am looking at it now. God Mike sounds great.
eric: am doing 6 triathlons this year
eric: really excited about it.
Me: damn....your photos make me miss you something awful
eric: yeh me too
eric: I was thinking about how I missed you the last time I read your blog. When brian got into a fight with the older kid :-(
Me: I am going to put your webpage on mine...ok?
Me: yeh...its been a rough couple of years Eric
Me: Your kids are so big...my gosh....so cute
Me: I remember when you were trying to get Chris pregnant and you went home for that "nooner" that lasted three friggin hours and the California Brownout happened wile you were gone and the CEO called me into that huge meeting to answer technical backup questions you had never trained me on...lol...and I was on the toilet when all the lights wentout too!! lol lol I started the meeting by saying "Sure - blame the redhead!" and wondering where in the same hell you were....lol
eric: hows the thyroid thing coming along?
Me: it isn't ... so I am trying something new
Me: I am so tired of feeling tired...I miss the feeling of working out and having that high - when I hike I have to come home and sleep - it so sucks - I miss my old hard body....now its poofy...
eric: lol - you gonna be online tomorrow? I am running late for an apointment
eric: new chiroprator
Me: I als re-told KB the story about when you flushed your phone -pager down the toilet at work - I laughed so hard telling her I had to pull over...and I wallpapered your office space in toilet seat covers with "Store phone here" on the tear away center...
Me: Dr Lincoln?
eric: shhhhh no - new guy in vallejo - you will never let me forget
Me: hmmmm you will have to fill me in on the whys of that later
Me: so I am going to add a link to your website...ok?
Me: I want people to see my old dearest of friends who was my boss for a time who I got to drive nuts every day...lol
eric: yep - lol ttyl
Me: all those hilarious stories...god how I miss the laughs xo
C
PS. When sweaty....my imaginary lover wears a bandana or hat on his head - NOT a kitchen towel...nice print there Eric...
EARTHQUAKES...???....
YAWN
We are fine. To Californians it's like a good ride at the county fair. If you are curious as to how many earthquakes go on any given day, copy and paste the following link into your browser and have a look see:
http://earthquake.usgs.gov/recenteqsUS/Maps/US10/37.47.-130.-120_eqs.html
You will see the Geyers in my backyard have earthquakes everyday. Don't let the sensationalized news reports fool you.
It's just an excuse to open and drink a good bottle of wine...
C
PS. My imaginary lover helps me create our own epa-center right in the middle of my bedroom...anything above a 3.9...
June marks the beginning of "birthday month" for me. For whatever reason, just about every friend of mine is a Gemini, and has a birthday this month. My own mother is a Gemini and her birthday is today. She is 77.
Saturday we drove to KB's new home for her daughter's second birthday party. KB, her daughter, and my other best friend Ebet all share the same birthday. I am surrounded by these strong 'I can fix it' Gemini women. Steph is also a Gemini...oi. Being the only Cancer in this mix is a daunting experience...thank God I was born on the 4th of July. At least I have fireworks to help me.
I realize I haven't yet begun to tell all my KB stories or the stories of my mother. My mom is also a redhead. It's not that I don't think of them everyday...hell I talk to them almost every day...there are just so many hilariously wonderful stories to tell about these two Geminis. Where do I begin?
My mother attended Mount Saint Mary's College in LA back in the early 1950's. Mount Saint Mary's is an all female Catholic college. I find it humorous that my mother, the redhead was sent to an all girls college to get her Bachelors degree. Back in the 1950's many of the Hollywood celebrities sent their daughters to this college. They lived on campus and followed strict conduct rules set down by the nuns.
My mother graduated with a Bachelors degree in Nursing, with a real love for cell biology. She was in love with a local LA boy from a wealthy family, and they became engaed at the end of her final semester. That summer, my mother returned home to her small Northern California hometown to plan her wedding. My irish grandmother and italian grandfather were thrilled. My grandfather was thrilled because he wouldn't have to feed her or worry about her anymore. My grandmother was thrilled because her fiance was from a well thought of southern California family. And the engagement ring was VERY lovely.
Back home, my mother's best friend's husband, Eddie played in a jazz band. He had once been a member of the Dorsey orchestra. They invited my mother to go out and hear the band. My mother and her best girlfriend went to a club in a nearby city to hear Eddie play. There, this tall, large redheaded man kept trying to get my mother to dance. She kept telling him that she was engaged and was only there to hear Eddie play. Besides, she knew who this man was from her home town...he had a reputation...but lord he was handsome. She would not dance with him, so he asked her to go steady. Again, she said no. My mother is still really good at saying no...
While home for the summer, my mother took a job in the local hospital to pay for the wedding gown she had in mind. But each night when she would leave the hospital, this tall redheaded man, fresh out of the Army would show up to offer her a ride home. She kept telling him that she was engaged, but he did not falter. He just kept trying, even offering to take her to church. Eventually his efforts paid off, and my mother cancelled her engagement to the southern california man, and married my dad. Yes, my dad was that very tall, very large handsome redhead who refused to take no for an answer.
My irish grandmother cried so hard that she missed the wedding. My parents packed their car with their belongings and drove out of that small town never to return. My mother was crazy in love with my father. She never regretted mailing back the other engagement ring. My dad did everything for my mom, grateful for the life that she created for us at home. It was wonderful to grow up with these two as parents, and I adored my dad. I could always understand why she sent that ring back.
My grandparents missed her so much that they moved from the small town to Santa Rosa to be near my mom. Her youngest brother lived with us for a while when he attended the Junior college. In the end, they loved my dad too. This is what Gemini women are like. They forge ahead fearless, fighting for the life they want. They always get the life they want. All of them keep reminding me to stay on my path, and the life I seek will appear for me too. Could it hurry up please?
I met KB while working at North American Mortgage. I will never forget the day that she walked into our little department hidden away in an old fileroom. We were an automation project, still trying to prove our value to the company. KB was hired to develop a national training program and get all the loan officers to buy into automation. She looked like a irish girl fresh out of prep school with her east coast way of dressing. I liked her instantly.
I was just in the beginning weeks of my legal seperation when KB was hired. One day, she asked me to go for a walk around the walking path at NAMC corp. Thankfully, she (a basketball player) did not ask me to play basketball. As we walked, she began asking me about how I came to the decision to leave my marriage. I talked openly about the years, trying to make it work, and the disappointments. KB confides in me that she is thinking of leaving her long term relationship, which really could have been classified as a common law marriage. We bonded as friends on that day. Little did we know how our friendship would change both our lives.
If one were to ask me what my favorite KB story is, I suppose I would pick from ones where she is out of sorts or off her game. You see, KB always was well -organized and managed everything to perfection. My silly, hilarious crazy way of doing things drove her nuts. Although, she loved hanging out with me. Two traveling stories come to mind, but my favorite is the times we spent traveling to Chicago to train loan officers for the Royal Bank of Canada. Oh yes, and the times the two handsome older project managers would spoil us by taking us out to dinner.
Corp America often makes mistakes when it comes to making travel arrangements. NAMC was very careful about this and allowed us to make our own travel plans, however, RBC was not this way and in the beginning made our travel arrangemts for us. On this particular Chicago trip I was teamed up with a male trainer no one liked. I can make the best of these situations because I just look at it as business. Upon reflection, I should have had my radar up, because this male trainer was doing everything in his power to say constantly by my side.
Joy (my "Mr Big") was a big help to me back then, and he often checked on me wherever I was traveling. The first day at the location I bitched to him that this trainer was like my shadow and it was making me uncomfortable. Joy's joke was first "DO you blame him???" and then went on to say that he didn't like the sound of it. For example, it was a beautiful day in Libertyville. At the end of our training day I wanted to walk from the branch to a store up the street and check in on a nail salon and see about a pedicure. We were only two blocks from the hotel. This male trainer freaked, became aggitated, and started going on and on about how he needed to drive me. "Something could happen to you!" Yeh - I could be stuck in a car with HIM.....
Helloooooo...I have traveled to many places alone. Even spent half the night alone in the Houston Airport. I could handle a short walk down a busy street. I insisted on walking and told him he was on his own for the night. He tried to grab my arm and tell me that we were leaving together. The branch operations manager asked if everything was ok. This male trainer grumbled a "fine" and stormed out of the office. Thrilled, I walked down to the store, grabbed some salad makings, California wine (that cost twice as much as home), water, and fruit. As I was leaving the store and walking to the nail salon, I noticed this car was following me from a distance. Thinking I was being paranoid, I shrugged it off and went into the salon.
As luck would have it, they took me right away to the pedicure queen chair. While I was sitting high above this perch I was able to see the street. I clicked with the ladies in the salon and they opened the bottle of wine and we drank wine and painted my toes. Every now and then I would notice this same car driving through the parking lot and out again. Still, I thought nothing of it. I was probably at the salon an hour. Once my toes were dry, we re-corked the bottle and I walked out to continue the short block to the hotel.
This same car passes me a thrid time and I realize it is the male trainers rental car pulling into the hotel ahead of me. It dawns on me that the car is like the one I kept seeing the whole time since leaving the branch. I realize he has been following me. I recognise this type of behavior from my x husband, and it is makes me mad. I decide to go in a side door, avoiding the lobby and took the stairs to my room. I am there probably 15 minutes when there is a kcock (I mean KNOCK - Joy would call that slip quite Freaudian) on my door. I am sitting back on my bed eating a salad, watching the night time version of Oprah.
When I ask who it is, its the male trainer. I ask him what he wants and he tells me that it is urgent that we talk. I open the door, but have left the chain safety latch on, so the door would only open a few inches. He has been drinking and is visably upset. He begins to tell me how attracted he is to me and to just let him in to the room to explain (Yeh R I G H T ). I tell him I am tired, having computer issues and am really just going to call it a day and go to sleep.
He puts his shoulder to the door and pushes it open as if it is a paper latch, pulling the lock off the left side of the wall. This pushes be back and I step around behind him as his energy put him to the center of the room. This pisses me off, and I step by him into the hallway. We are on the 6th floor, at the end of a long quiet hallway. I tell him to leave or I am finding security. He wanders over to my computer, then goes and lays down on my bed. He begins some drunken tirade about how much he wants me and what a thrill it is traveling with me and to just come sit on the bed. (ICK ICK) This is when I became furious. I can be most unpleasant when furious.
I ended up telling him that he was the ugliest grossest most unattractive slug that I everhad the displeasure of traveling with. He even smelled bad. It was either yell this or scream fire. With that he leaps up (I think oh crap), I step aside ready to run to the stairs and he furiously storms out of my room in the other direction to the elevator. As I run back in to shut the door, he begins yelling obscinities. I dead bolt the door, start to cry...and call...KB.
To say that KB freaked out would be an understatement - she is over the top furious, telling me to call the project manager right then and there, and if I didn't - she would. So I called the project manager, He is wonderful. He asks me if I want to fly home, or would he like for him to send KB. I said "Send KB". With that the male trainer is sent on another assignment and KB is grabbing the first plane to Chicago. I never had to see the guy again. Once his out of the area asignment was over they let him go from the project.
So in flies KB to save the day. Joy was Mr Wonderful during this time too, but this part of the story is about KB and not "Mr Big". She arrives and catches a cab to my hotel and sets up in the other side of my suite. Everything is always better when KB arrives. She is in business -lets-kick-some-ass mode. The project manager had called the hotel. My door was fixed, and they left warm cookies on the table.
KB was taking over. This is a good thing and requires some shopping time. She rolls into the branch with me on the first day the male regional manager returns. He hates the automation project, automation, computers, corporate, life, seafood, the color purple, rising interest rates, I could go on but one gets the idea. He summons us to his office only to see two very tall irish women standing in front of his desk. Suddenly to have me and KB in his branch from time to time makes the whole automation four letter word look wonderful...hell he may even try seafood. We are 'in'.
If only all corporate games could be solved by sending in two very tall irish women, one a blonde, one a redhead - I'd be a multimillionere. Thus, this marks the beginning of several trips to Chicago and some of my favorite travel stories. Although, KB really does want me to eventually tell our travel story of the trip to Troy Michigan (north of Detroit) when we worked at NAMC. It involves me "looking for my sign"...I can still hear her snort a laugh every time I say that. Maybe eventually....
But next I will tell the Chicago story of my painful shoes, her car accident, loosing her drivers license, pokemon bandaids, embarassing her in a airport bar because I wanted to sit down, and meeting an x ball player from Houston named Brian...who told us about snakes and crocs...
Until next time...
C
PS. My imaginary lover likes both my mother and KB...
The written word can be a powerful tool for calming the soul. My online friend 'yoda' always knows just what to say.
Me: he has never done the kid homework ritual, he'd never understand my life
yoda: oops
Me: and here I have a kid with a learning difficulty
yoda: just writes checks huh
Me: yep, like that makes a parent
yoda: my youngest had problems
yoda: your work is cut out for you
Me: yes...it is brutal...and I hate the school system
yoda: is he dyslexic
Me: ADD with dyslexia
Me: inatentive type
yoda: ok
Me: auditory processing problems
yoda: the female teachers arent very sympathetic
Me: he has trouble reading, writing and paying attention
yoda: k
Me: no - they are awful - I agree
yoda: yes
yoda: he will out grow it
yoda: you have to watch he doesnt get lost
yoda: mine excelled in academics eventually
yoda: just needed work
yoda: dedication
Me: he has a slight speech studder and trouble getting his thoughts out I have to tell him to "slow his motor down" or "breathe" so he can get what his racing mind is thinking out
yoda: yes
Me: the school wants to drug him and I say no
yoda: yes- i dont like the zonked kids
yoda: for the teachers- not the kids
Me: exactly
yoda: i agree with you completely
yoda: let them get him a tutor
yoda: a man who wont mind him being active
yoda: the feds used to fund all the special ed
yoda: so they pushed the kids into it
yoda: now the funding not so generous
Me: yes, and ____ just doesn't get it all...he is all about making money, driving fancy cars, having sex... and doing whatever he feels like...he has no clue the sacrafices made for your children
Me: and I am so far from all that 'me' behavior
Me: some days I am lucky my hair gets brushed...lol
yoda: kiss him goodbye then
yoda: a hedonist
Me: yes
yoda: all honor to you
yoda: you wont regret being honorable
yoda: and he will fear his death
Me: oh I think at his age he already does, and I don't have time to worry aboutdeath...hell that would be a nice long nap for me...no laundry
yoda: lol
yoda: indeed
Me: You always say the perfect thing
yoda: been there- done that swety
yoda: i have no regrets
yoda: you wont either
yoda: being hnorable is good for the soul
Me: I am just having a tough time with it all
yoda: yes- i understand
yoda: i almost went under a few times myself
yoda: kids are expensive
Me: lordy - esp a growing boy
yoda: sure
yoda: and he cant understand your circumstances
yoda: they want it all
Me: lol...the men I meet...or my son?...cause you could describe both...although Brian really doesn't ask for a lot
yoda: sure
yoda: brian sems very empathetic
Me: he is...he used his birthday money to buy Scrabble for us to play because I wanted to get it to help him with his words...he had eyed a light sabor and instead said "Mom, I'll get that for us" I was going to buy it. He just kills me sometimes....Of course now I have to play Scrabble all the friggin time
yoda: lol- nice
Me: Yes...my new book is the Dictionary
yoda: lol
And to ponder that I get this amazing advise and support for free with just a click of an instant messege button. I value his opinion more than I can say. I wonder how I ever got along before without yodas wise counsel. He rocks. I count myself lucky to receive his gentle viewpoint. He is my muse.
I stayed home from girl's night. Heidi is out of town, and so is Steph - plus it is raining here. A good night to catch up and re-group.
Until next time -
C.
PS. My imaginery lover just "gets it" like yoda does...
After much deliberation and reflection, I decided to write about my son's learning disability. The subject breaks my heart for this terrific boy of mine. Thursday, Brian's teacher called a Parent - Teacher conference, which included the Principal. It is never good when the Principal sits in. I think Parents of kids with learning differences find these "meetings" excruciating at best.
My x husband decided to come to this one. Hurray for small miracles. When Brian was an infant (and I was still married) I noticed Brian was already different. Brian did not like to crawl. He would pull himself up and hang on to things to move about the house. He just wanted to go from sitting to walking. Forget that crawling business.
Brian had difficulty winding down if over-stimulated. I did a ton of reading on childhood development. I understand crawling is linked to reading. I began reading aloud to my tummy even before he was born. I wanted him to be accustomed to hearing my voice and the sound of written word. We had a difficult birth. Brian got stuck and stopped breathing and so did I. I almost bled to death. The cord was wrapped around his neck and his head was bruised from clamps and suction. On a more humorous note: VH1 was on in the delivery room and Brian was born during the first half hour of Monty Python's "Life Of Brian". I knew this kid was special.
After delivery, I continued with reading and began singing words to him. I stepped up the reading when he was about 6 months old. He loved Chicka Chicka Boom Boom. I can still recite the whole book "Chicka Chicka Boom Boom...will there be enough room....here comes A up the coconut tree..."
When Brian was 2 and just learning to talk, he would tell these long never-ending stories. (I have no idea where he gets this from). My mother and I would try to keep a straight face when Brian extended the story further every time we said, "and then...?". When Brian was about 3 and a half, the three of us drove to Seattle and Brian invented a story that lasted from Salem to Portland. I loved it. I can still hear my mom and I saying, "And then...?..." over and over. "And then the monster turned into a bird and flew into a cloud and a dragon tried to catch it...and then..."
I noticed from the beginning Brian learned differently than other kids his age. Like riding a bike. When other kids his age were riding bikes with training wheels, Brian flatly refused. His dad, the aging jock tried to force the bike thing, (even back then) Brian dug his heels in and refused. I didn't push it. Then, one day he came into the house and said, "Mom, take my training wheels off. I want to ride my bike". Surprised, I went to the garage, got my tools and offered to "rotate the training wheels up higher." Brian got frustrated and pointed out to me that he was "NOT A BABY!" and to just take them off. So I took off the training wheels.
I offered to hold the seat and run behind him while he learned to ride. (Ok, yes I know...it's hard not to be a mom). He looked at me like I was nuts. He had that 'I can do this back off mom' look in his eyes. With that, he got on the bike, turned downhill. let it go and started to pedel. He came close to losing it but managed all the way to the bottom of the hill and rode around the corner. I was stunned.
When he returned I said "Wow Brian, how did you learn to ride?" He said "I just kept picturing it in my head until I knew I could easily do it". And that, is Brian's learning style. Unfortunately, it is not the learning style of the public school system, where mainstream and conformity is celebrated and rewarded. Heaven help anyone who is percieved as 'different'. Heck...I had issues with school growing up and I was an excellerated student. Frankly I found it boring and useless...it drove my mother nuts. She lives for achedemia.
My cousin Larry was a pitcher for the Minnesota Twins back in the early 80's. He is the biggest man I have ever met, and the largest pitcherI have ever watched. He is 6'5 and the size of a door. He literally has to duck through doors when he enters or exits. To me, he is Paul Bunyon. My hero. A kinder gentler man I have never known. I remember what it was like for him growing up. Sports, especially baseball was his salvation. I look at Brian and realize he is well on his way to being another gentle giant, just like Larry. Brian's chest and shoulders fit in my sweat shirts and his feet are the same size as mine...he is only 10...oi. The one thing everyone who comes in contact with Brian agrees upon is that there is not a mean bone in Brian's body. He is kind to everyone. His teacher tried to tell me that this atribute wouldn't get Brian very far in life. I am amazed that I didn't just get up and walk out. I only answered "The ability to cooperate and get along with people is everything in life". I was fuming.
With larger children, their development is slower. They often peak late in high school or even college. Add in ADHD, ADD or Dyslexia with these tall, larger kids and every day poses interesting challenges to be overcome. They are so brave. Brian is also brave, ironically the meaning of his name. Again, the system cannot handle different - except if he is a glowing athelite. Grade school is the worst for these kids. One teacher, one classroom - all year. No real sports programs. And God help them if the teacher doesn't like or understand them.
I have been crusading for Brian in school since he was in Kindergarten. His dad was contantly moving, constantly changing girlfriends, following me everywhere, breaking into my house, threatening me, taking Brian with him into bars, beating people up in front of Brian and basically behaving like a nut to be quite honest. There is just story after story until I sued for full custody after my x disappeared with Brian while I was away training loan officers. Every time I had to let Brian stay with him, I could not sleep. I would go the whole 48 hours without one minute of sleep. All the while trying to keep up on Brian's focus on school. I haven't even begun to discuss what it was like for Brian. He is a survivor, a real hero.
Getting my arms wrapped around this kid's life with his dad and reining it all in is my greatest achievement to date. My friends still cannot believe it. It took everything I had, emotionally and financially to save Brian from his dad's problems. I felt responsible, like wantingthe divorce forced Brian into this hell with his dad. Taking it all on and fighting back caused my health to suffer...frankly, it almost killed me. I am still recovering....and so is Brian. Every now and then I flash on one of the stories and a tear runs down my face. Brian is so strong...we've come so far.
I still have trouble sleeping and wonder if I will ever see the day that Brian and my world is the way I vision it....happy...content...simple...with loads of laughter. We've got the love thing going on...and we do laugh quite a bit. We still dance around the living room and lately that includes chasing his dog to the music. Anyone that comes around us for very long knows love lives large under my roof. It is one of the reasons I don't see men for very long...so many are love-LESS...and no fun...why would I want to take that on too? If a man isn't going to fall in love with me...and bring more love into our lives....restoring and replenishing the soul...then I want them to just go away and stay away NOW. Brian and I are doing fine thank you. I don't want the distraction of some man's screwed up, closed down heart.
So one can imagine when a teacher starts in on Brian, along with a Principal and my x sitting there nodding his head in agreement I feel like letting out a primal scream along with standing up, throwing a fit with my arms and tell them all to f___ off. But of course I don't. I breathe in and out and try to keep my redheaded temper in tact with a group of clueless people who don't know Brian. I have read volumes on learning difficulties, ADD, ADHD, thyroid, Edison and his life, long chain fatty acid depletion...you name it, and here I am the subject matter expert talking to people who just want to medicate Brian. Ritalin...uh....HELL NO.
First off, Brian is not hyperactive. He is a day-dreamer, who imagines inovative games for his friends to play. He is popular and well-liked. He loves to do math, draw, color and paint, tell stories, laugh, play baseball, handball, kickball, soccer, football, basketball, video games and sword fights. (Yeh with a mom who's screen name is Rapieress - after the sword used by the Three Musketeers - the sword fighting thing should come as no big shock). He loves to build lego airplaines and star fighters.
Brian's weakness is in audio processing. If it is a standard lecture where the teacher is giving a list of verbal instruction, without writing or interaction, they will lose Brian. He will be off in his head dreaming of creating a special sword that can kill a dragon in one blow. As a x corporate trainer I have tried gently to explain modern teaching techniques that require an interactive classroom. When I was taught to be a trainer, it was pointed out to me that there are three distinct learning styles. People learn by hearing, or by doing or by seeing. I was taught that if I only used one teaching style I would lose two thirds of the class.
Thus, to teach in corporate america I was instructed to give paperwork or have a computer for those that learn by doing, a visual demonstration for those that learn by seeing, and a lecture for those who learn by hearing. I was taught not to move around the room as not to distract from the materials. One can imagine how much teachers dislike me when I suggest this approach in their classrooms. I am the dreaded, sometimes hated mother of that wonderful boy Brian who just won't drug her son. I wear that label like a badge of honor. I am treated as if I have no clue as to what is best for my son.
In this particular parent teacher conference the teacher literally said, "If you do not handle this now, then your son will be a failure." He is 10, in 4th grade...I wanted to come across the table and choke her and yell "How dare you call yourself a teacher!" I have been "handling" this since Brian entered school. I have purchased interactive computer programs, had my mother privately tutor him two days a week, and read every single publication and reasearch on learning differences. As an adult I have come to learn that the most successful adults I know struggled in school. How dare she predict my son's future. Not to mention this teacher and Principal are clueless as to the kind of survivor Brian is. He will do great things. I admire him every moment I am with him. I am glad he chose me to be his mom.
The Principal also started down this road, until I flipped the meeting around and treated it like one of my corporate meetings where I wanted something that accounting and management said could not be done. I am not particularly pleasent when I have my facts and go down this road. In corporate america I usually get what I want. The Principal could tell that I was not about to be bullied and tried back peddling. I was relentless and made him start a list for Brian for 5th grade. I told him I would be sending him a more complete list before the end of June. God bless Tom Cruise's mom and all other mothers who fight for these kids. And may there be a special place in heaven for any teachers out there who understand and work with these kids.
In the meantime, I began researching the link between LCP (long chain polyunsaturated fatty acids) depletion in children with ADD, ADHD, Dyslexia and Dyspraxia. I am going to start Brian on a supplement program with vitamins that include zinc and magnesium. I am looking to Neuro-DHA softgells by Metabolic Response Modifiers. The differnce can be seen in as little as 72 hours to 3 months. This will give us the summer to work on increasing Brian's LCP levels. Considering what trama Brian lived through, and even myself, it won't hurt to beef up our vitamins and LCP levels.
I pray this new research works for Brian, because I don't ever want to stimulate the imagination out of him. Ironic that we teach "Just say no to drugs" to kids and yet want to run to drugs if something doesn't fit the norm. What are we really teaching these kids about overcoming? When life is challenging, do we just pop a pill and forget about it?
Besides, I think Brian deserves a medal for surviving the period of time that his dad was out of control and I was traveling thousands of miles away. He deserves to have me fight for him and finally have his father make ammends. They will have to hold a gun to my back to make me give up and place him on some stimulant to make it easier on the teacher and the system. To hell with that...I have always done things my way and have rarely regretted it.
My heart goes out to all parents facing such choices and trying the road less traveled.
Until next time...
C
PS. My imaginery lover is good at helping kids with homework...oh yeh and is not afraid of love.
CM: Hey Cath
ME: yes dear?
CM]: feeling better today?
ME: the same...but working hard and not crying
CM: well that is an improvement
ME: lol...says you
CM: just trying to keep it upbeat LOL
ME: and i am just trying to figure it all out
CM: you will work it out I have faith in you
CM: well done with my mail gotta run some errands before work tonight talk to you later
ME: k...thanks Tony
CM: no problem it was my pleasure TTFN
I met Tony (featured above)online 8 years ago. He was serving in the militery, just about to get out. My seperation was just starting. He used to call me at least once a week to leave me messages encouraging me on. God, we used to talk rugby and sex...he is hilarious. And, as always...there to cheer me on.
Then Trac emails me....
Just felt the need to send you a big Tracy hug.... thinking of you.. :) Love ya!
"Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming....
W0W WHAT A RIDE!!! "
Trac lives in Minnesota and there is an amazing story of how we became the best of friends. I will have to write that amazing story here sometime, huh Trac? And if you knew Trac you would swear that her signature statement was written by her - I can hear her "Wow...what a ride" all the way over here... And then dearest KB is driving over from Napa tomorrow to help me focus on work. What great friends I have. Thank you all for always cheering me on...
And, like some women...I have a "Mr Big"...
js: morning !!! time to rise and shine doll...
me: lol...hi dear
OI
